


Light after Loss

by CinnaTwist



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Adoption, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Angst, Beta Jason Todd, Discussion of Abortion, Eventual Happy Ending, Healing, Kid Fic, M/M, Omega Dick Grayson, Other, Past postpartum depression, Sexism, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2020-10-19 12:34:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20657333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinnaTwist/pseuds/CinnaTwist
Summary: Dick screams when he finds out. He loves Jason he does- He always has because he’s his family. He’s his brother. Still the idea that the fetus in his body is a medical anomaly makes him sick. Jason is a happy kind of tense.Dick wants an abortion. He tells Jason and their fight is horrible. Jason doesn’t get the violent kind of mad that Dick expects from him however. Instead the beta begs him- pleads with him to carry to full term. If only just for him. Dick wouldn’t have to do anything after- just carry the baby for him.- Please read the tags, this will have an happy ending even if it kills me.





	1. Chapter 1

England isn’t as muggy as Dick thought it was going to be. Especially considering the fact he was coming from a place like Gotham. There’s a certain crispness to the air here that makes the gray skies look relaxing. It’s enjoyable. Damian walks close to him. Alpha pheromones on overdrive. He’s glaring at anyone who gets close. Dick finds it adorable.

It’s their first civilian trip out to this part of the world. Bruce had been busy, so Dick was in charge of taking Damian to look at universities. God university, he's getting so old. His baby bat is all grown up. In just a few months he's going to be 18 and living overseas.

“ I can feel you worrying Grayson. Cease it immediately, I am not a pup anymore. “

He looks shy. Damian’s cheeks glowing slightly. Though it might be because of the cool autumn wind. The area that they’re checking out is lovely. Everything nearly in walking distance. There’s even a vegan Cafe on the campus. Something that makes Damian light up. The more they look around, the more Dick realizes Damian is going to fit in perfectly with the lit nerds and drama geeks. 

He almost wishes the place was bad. So that he could convince his brother that Gotham U would be a better choice. They head back to the front of the school. Just in time for the tour that's starting. The person who leads it is a chipper omega with red hair and freckles. Dick tries not to take offence when Damian puts space between them. Seeming to seek out a spot closer to the red head. 

Just another reason for Dick to hate the entire experience.

When the tour is over Damian waves goodbye in favor of spending more time with the omega. Dick smiles and waves back. The redhead’s name tag reads Collin. The boy blushing when Dick makes eye contact with him. He seems like a real innocent sweetheart. Though the scent of obvious attraction peppering the air gives him away. 

Dick smiles fondly. 

Leaving the school he decides to do some more exploring on his own. It couldn’t hurt if Damian did decide to move here. Everything is close together almost like small district. Which makes sense considering that mostly everything else is a long country ride away. Still out here the air was fresh and the people were pleasant. 

He makes his way over the crosswalk. Eyes turning to linger on the little kids in yellow raincoats and boots making their way across the street. It makes Dick laugh. They look like ducklings. Following after each other with rain boots squeaking on the tar. The sight makes something pang within Dick’s heart. They're so young.

His daughter would have been about that age now.

He makes it to the other side but finds himself staring a little longer. They’re children of all different colors and nationalities. He can’t help his gaze from following a little girl with curly black hair, blue eyes and freckles. Her floppy hat so big it almost completely covers her messy curls. She’s holding the crossing guards hand. A big cheerful smile on her face. 

The ping in Dick’s chest turns into a full blown twist. Like a knife that’s meant to hurt. He sucks in a breath and marches on. A new determination to get to the hotel fueling his pace. He makes it there without running into any other little girls with black hair and blue eyes.

He takes the stairs. The exertion a good enough distraction for now. His legs burn when he hits the 7th flight. It’s a good reminder of his very human body. The ache feels good, grounding him in the moment. By the time he reaches his floor he feels a bit calmer. 

Punching in the code, he walks into the room carelessly. Kicking off his boots and tugging off his coat. Everything is how they’ve left it. Though it does look like the maid did come to bring extra towels. Taking his time he walks through the room. Sweeping for bugs and checking for any traces of a break in. 

He finds nothing though. Which helps put him at ease. He just wants to shower, order take-out and watch life time. He barely gets his shirt off when his cell phone starts ringing. Picking it up he answers before moving to his belt. 

“ Go for Grayson. “

The scoff on the only side let’s him know that it’s Tim. His brother could never stand the way he answers the phone. Dick smiles, leaving his jeans and taking a seat on the edge of one of the beds. 

“ Please tell me you’ve gotten rid of Damian for good and are on your way back with English chocolates. “

Dick chuckles. He can hear typing in the background and voices. Which probably meant he's still working. Looking at the time Dick sighs. “ Please tell me you’re not up at 9 pm when you should be getting your pre patrol nap in. “

The answering snort he gets in return makes him grin. He closes his eyes and can practically see Tim twisting his mouth in annoyance. His hair probably in a haphazard bun with a pencil stuck somewhere inside.

“ Mind your business old man. You’re the one who needs the beauty sleep not me. “

Flopping back onto the bed. Dick shudders as cool sheets touch his bare skin. England is definitely a different kind of cold to Gotham. Tugging the comforter across he throws the heavy material over him. 

“ Is that you’re way of calling me beautiful?”

There’s a few fast clicks on the other side. “ Nope that’s my way of calling you ugly. “

This time they laugh together. When they do Dick feels warmth pool in his stomach. He misses Tim and wishes he could have gotten the younger omega to come along. 

“ But seriously how’s England? Damian like the school?”

It blows Dick’s mind how Tim always plays indifferent to Damian. While simultaneously looking out for him, with a fierce possessiveness that's almost maternal.

“ Well he definitely loves it- Though he ditched me for a pretty redhead with skinny legs. “

Tim guffaws. 

“ Well at least now we know you two are definitely related. “

Tim says something to someone off to the side. There’s a laugh, it’s low and fond. It takes a moment for Dick to realize it must be Bruce. He’s never known how to feel about how Bruce has grown over the years. Maybe it had been after Dick’s pregnancy. There's something softer about the man. Whether or not it was Dick’s mental breakdown or Jason running away they’ll never know. One thing was for sure- he was Bruce more than he was the bat now a days. 

Something that is healthy for all of them.

“ That B? Put me on speaker. “

There’s a bit of shuffling around for a moment. 

“ Alright you’re on speaker. “

Dick grins. Shifting himself on the bed to get more comfortable. Dragging a pillow over, he cuddles into it. Placing his phone near his face. “ So your son definitely took after you. Barely been here for an hour and he’s run off with some Redheaded Harlot.”

Bruce snorts and the sound makes Dick’s chest warm. He isn’t sure what their doing but the man sounds comfortable. 

“ Pot meet kettle. “

Tim chuckles in the background. The tapping pausing as Tim focuses on the conversation. Dick hums basking in the low alpha timber of their father's voice. 

“ Why does everyone keep trying to make that a thing- I sleep with 1 red head-”

“ 4- “

“ 3 ½ - Red heads and everyone acts like I have a type. “

Someone snorts again. He isn’t sure if it’s Bruce or Tim. The two are too similar to tell apart sometimes. 

“ Whatever helps you sleep at night Dick. “ It’s Tim. 

“ Which is usual a ginger alpha. “ Then Bruce. 

Dick gasps at the same time Tim shouts ‘ OOO BURN’. 

Huffing Dick moves off of the bed. Reaching for his phone quickly. “ You know what I don’t have to take this kind of treatment. I’m going to take a shower. “

Tim’s chuckles break off. The man clearly failing to pull himself together. “ Alright Big bird. We’ll talk to you after patrol. Make sure Dami uses protection. “

Dick rolls his eyes. Damian was probably the safest out of all of them. After all his mom was Talia Al Gul. 

“ Will do. Be safe Timmy- You to B. “

Both chime the affirmative before the connection clicks off. Leaving Dick alone in the hotel room. Sighing he tosses the device on the bed and decides to get back to his shower. He had a plan and he was sticking to it. 

Turns out the water is much better than Gotham’s. There’s a cleanliness that doesn’t make you worry about leaving your mouth open. Dick loves how hot the temperature gets. When he gets out his skin is pink. Wrapping himself up in a towel he goes over to his suitcase and grabs his pajamas. They’re wool and perfectly warm. Something that Alfred told him to bring for the trip. These and extra thick socks. When Dick dresses he feels toasty all over. It’s divine. 

It’s only 3 pm so he picks up the remote. Deciding to channel surf a bit before ordering an early dinner. He isn’t actually sure Damian is going to come back. After all the Alpha was pretty happy being led off by the omega. Something he would definitely tease his brother about later.

Settling on Disney he’s happy to see their playing Kim Possible reruns. It’s been a while since he’s seen the show. When he was growing up, it had been his favorite. There was something so funny about watching a show featuring a teenager saving the world, when he was a teenager saving the world. KP was definitely his first crush- cartoon or not.

Huh. Maybe he really did have a thing for redheads?

He’s about 2 episodes in when he decides to order food. Getting a veggie stir fry and tofu soup for Damian and sweet and sour chicken for himself. Snuggling under the sheets he lets the feeling of complete relaxation sweep over him. It almost felt like a real vacation. Lying in bed in the evening, ordering in and watching cartoons. 

A lot of days of his pregnancy were spent like this. Lazing about while Jason was in the kitchen. Watching across the island and cooking dinner with a quiet efficiency. When Jason crosses his mind Dick sinks a little deeper into the bed. He hasn’t thought much about the other man or his pregnancy in a while. 

Memories from almost five years ago somehow feel like yesterday. Closing his eyes Dick tunes out the catchy theme song in favor of remembering Jason singing the Family Matters theme. It’s soft, just under his breath. He could see it vividly. Jason’s wearing an apron that says ‘ Drop Dead Gorgeous. ‘ There’s onions, garlic and peppers browning in a pot. There’s the sound of water boiling as Jason starts peeling potatoes. 

He feels like if he turns his head he can see him. There’s a happy grin on his face. Posture completely lax. His scent is stronger than usual. Content rolling off of him in waves. They just found out the sexes of their baby. They’re having a girl. A little beta girl. Jason had tears in his eyes when the nurse told him. Large hand shaking in Dick’s while they both were staring at the monitor. 

Every line in his face was smooth. The wonder making him appear younger than ever. He takes a picture with his phone even though the nurse tells him they’ll print them copies. Dick laughs, Jason is so happy he doesn’t care. On the way home from the hospital he doesn’t even scold Dick when they pull into Wendy’s for a frosty. 

Dick jerks himself out of the memory. Someone’s knocking on the door. It’s almost surreal. Something else is on the TV something he doesn't recognize. He doesn’t know how long he was thinking of Jason. He looks at the plug in clock on the dresser. The numbers that read 5:23pm are jarring. He hasn’t had an episode like this in a long time. 

The knocking starts again forcing Dick out of the bed. He grabs his wallet out of his jeans. Calling out a brisk ‘ Coming!”. Finally making his way to the door, he finds the delivery man standing there restlessly. No doubt having many other stops to do. 

“ The elevator was broken. “

Dick nods in understanding, taking out a crisp £50 note. The delivery man looks at the bill. His eyebrows crunching together helplessly. Dick waves him off before he can say a word. “ Keep the change. “ That puts a spring in his step. He takes the food, which is surprisingly still warm. Dick forces a polite smile when the man tips his hat. Finally getting to close the door. 

Somehow the hot scent of Chinese fails to make him hungry. Instead he finds himself craving the home made traditional meals that Jason fed him everyday. The thought makes the emptiness inside well up. His entire body feeling off kilter and foreign. Dick leaves the food on the table and crawls back into bed. 

He doesn’t know what time Damian get’s back but there's light outside. Dick didn’t close the blinds so there’s pretty pinks, reds and oranges making the usually dull sky look beautiful. It must be almost sunset. Though the lighter the colors get the sooner Dick realizes it’s actually sun rise. 

“ You left the food out. “

Damian unties the bag. His eyes critical. It mustn’t be too bad because soon he’s finding a frying pan to heat up his stir fry. Despite all the danger they’ve been in, Dick finds Damian’s fear of the microwave adorable. 

“ You smell like omega. “

Dick tries not to panic at the fact that he’s been sleeping for at least 12 hours. He doesn’t feel like he’s gotten much sleep at all. The dull ache in his stomach now a phantom twinge. Slinking over to the small kitchenette, Dick gets a protein shake out of the fridge. There isn’t much in there, meaning they would have to run out to the store later. There was only so much takeout Damian could stand and Dick was dying to try some English brands of cereals. He’s heard good things about Weetos. 

Damian is actually preening from Dick’s comment. Obviously very proud of himself. He’s still in last night's clothes so it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he slept out. Dick doesn’t feel like ribbing him about it though. Somehow the gray from outside feels like it’s in him now.

When the alpha doesn’t say anything the two fall into a comfortable silence. Damian heats up both of their food while Dick finds plates and cups. It was something all bats could do. Work together as a team without a word. It's a familiar song and dance. One that somehow makes the day sadder. 

“ your scent- “ Damian coughs sliding his own food into a plate. He tries again words clearly escaping the usually articulate boy now man. “ You’re stressed. “

Dick shrugs not really wanting to talk about it. The family was much better with pack cues now. Maybe it was the therapy, maybe it was out of necessity. Either way they all had a better understanding of each other's emotions and moods. The fact that Damian was verbally bringing it up instead of just hugging him was different. Maybe it was practice for when he was living thousands of miles away. 

“ Saw a little girl yesterday. With black hair and freckles. “

Her eyes were a gorgeous blue his mind reminds him. He sits at the table staring at the place mat in front of him. It was a nice cloth one. He let his gaze trace the embroidery. The sound of food sizzling starts again. Damian’s heating up the sweet and sour chicken next. Tossing everything together probably. Not that it matters it’s all going to the same place. 

“ There’s a primary school close by. I forgot to warn you. “

The tone of his voice let’s Dick know he’s beating himself up for it. He really shouldn’t be. It’s been five years and he should be a bit better at handling things like this. It was too hard yesterday. When he could pretend the little girl he saw was his.

“ It’s okay Dames. I’m OK. “

After taking 3 shaky breathes he knows he will be. 

Despite Dick setting the table they eat the Chinese in bed. The two of them pressing tightly together in the full. They watch a really bad horror movie while the sky gets brighter. Somehow it’s less scary with daylight shining in the background. Damian’s commentary is the best part. By the end their both laughing and Dick feels better. 

Turns out the alpha actually has another date with Collin tonight. An actual date and not another rousing round ‘ completely satisfactory intercourse’. Though Dick was pretty sure his brother would be sleeping out again tonight. He grills Damian for the details. The younger man practically squawking as Dick pries the information out. 

By the time they’re ready to head out it’s nearly 1 o’ clock. Giving them enough time to hit the market and so that Damian can get ready for his date. They have to drive to get to the complex. It’s worth it though. Dick enjoys the cobblestone parking lot, greenery and little market that’s selling fresh produce outside. It’s a good healthy environment. Dick knows Damian will thrive here. He can practically see the alpha coming here every other day. Buying fresh veggies for smoothies and quick dinners. 

They settle on going inside first. The market could be done after. There’s a lot of products that Dick hasn’t seen before. Things that the alpha is more familiar with. Damian grabs a cart making a show of pushing it around. Dick hangs off of his arm like a smitten omega. Enjoying embarrassing his very tall little brother. He isn’t sure when Damian shot up but at this point he’s quickly caught up with Bruce. Maybe even with Jason. 

Dick decides on buying the Weetos and a good old reliable box of Cheerios just in case. It’s more than enough to get them through the week, if not the store isn’t too far of a drive. Damian is steering them towards the freezer isle when bouncy black curls come into view. 

Even without the yellow hat and rain boots Dick knows it’s the same girl. Like this he can see everything. She’s wearing a cute little blue and pink dress that looks like cotton candy. Her curls almost completely free except the little pink headband on her head. She’s skipping, her shoes a very active pair of sneakers that look shiny and new. No doubt because of the new school season. Her eyes look just as blue as Dick remembers them. His gaze counting every freckle. He can’t stop himself from watching her as they push forward. Shelving clearing and soon she’s coming to a stop. 

There’s a box in her hand of some kind of fruit snacks. She’s holding them up, Dick let’s his eyes follow and they keep going up and up until he’s breath stammers. 

There’s less freckles than there were last time, but still he can tell exactly who it is. Someone who he’s thought of over and over again for five years.

Jason.

The beta looks gorgeous. Though he always has been. It’s startling really. Whenever he moves it’s like a painting in motion. A priceless piece that belongs in the Smithsonian. He hasn’t seen him in years. He looks good- too good. Dick almost wishes something was wrong with him. Like an extra toe or some kind of hidden flaw underneath his clothing. Dick knows from experience however that he’s just as perfect underneath it all. 

It’s only on the inside where things twist. 

When Dick double takes the little girl. He can see every bit of Jason in her that there is to find. She has his nose, his ears and his hair. She’s perfect. Her skin is darker than his, eyelashes longer, torso much shorter- but still Jason’s.

He wonders when Jason had her. 

Because well- she was about the same age as their little girl would had been. 

A broken whine breaks through his throat and Jason’s eyes snap up at him. When their eyes meet everything hurts. Damian puts himself between them, pushing Dick back down the cereal aisle. He doesn’t go though instead his feet move towards Jason. 

The beta picks up the pup. She fusses at the action. He’s carrying her down the other way. The sound of the cart going forward loud. Jason was running away. After everything he was running away again. 

Dick breaks away from Damian instead pursuing Jason. His blood is rushing in his ears. The scent of distress must be wreaking off of him because someone he passes covers their nose. Jason leaves the cart full of groceries. Instead heading out through the automatic doors. It slows him down just a little for Dick to catch up. When they get to the parking lot they’re actually sprinting. 

“ Jay! Jay Wait!”

His heart aches in his chest. It hurts so much that Dick almost wants to double over. He’s so close though. Jason is walking over to a red Honda that's full of little stickers on the side. They aren’t very high just where the little girl can probably reach. Jason opens the driver side and he’s trying to get in. Putting her in with ease. Like he’s done it hundreds and hundreds of times.

It’s then Dick can smell the fear in the air. It’s so bad he wants to scream. He grabs the door stopping Jason from closing it. Now he knows for a fact that this is Jason. The Beta looks different up close. Tired, his scent more alpha than Dick remembers. He doesn’t have the white streak in his hair anymore. The entire thing slick and black. His undercut is grown out, it makes him look older.

“ Back off Dickie. “

Dick for the life of him can’t. People are looking. Damian is coming up behind him, he can hear his footsteps and the steps of a few others. A blonde lady with two pups of her own pushes over. Her expression is fierce and territorial. 

“ This guy bothering you Peter?”

She’s a beta. A beta with children. Dick wants to tell her to mind her own business. A helpless whimper draws his eyes back to the car. The pup is nearly in tears her entire body trembling. Jason’s body equally tight and showing signs of duress. He’s angling himself in a way to protect her. It’s that sight that finally makes Dick let go of the door frame. 

“ Dick- It’s not worth it. Come on step back and breath. “

Right breathing. That’s definitely something that would help. He doesn’t get far but when Damian’s scent is there grounding him, he manages a shaky exhale. He takes a few breaths before he can finally start walking backwards.

There’s too many people staring at him. 

The beta lady is glaring at him. There’s an older alpha to his left. The more he starts to notice the environment the more he can tell there’s mostly betas. It’s unnatural. At least it feels that way. Everything is incredibly bland, it’s only then that Dick wonders if the freshness in the air was from all the people lacking in scent. 

He looks at Jason one more time. The absolute heartbreak he sees there hurts. It’s like Dick’s 24 again. Back when he tells Jason he’s getting an abortion. The beta’s expression broken. He let’s Damian pull him back towards the car. The fight leaving his body the more memories surface. 

He doesn’t deserve to speak to Jason. 

_ Five Years ago. _

_ Dick’s pregnant. _

_ For a beta. _

_ Statistically it’s impossible. Beta’s are sterile, their genetics a mangle of faulty genes that should never be able to breed. Most people would abort their Beta children the moment they found out the fetus’ secondary gender. Usually only poor families that couldn’t afford the testing even went full term with the pregnancy. Jason was one of the few Beta’s that made it. Good luck and a chance meeting with Bruce. _

_ Dick screams when he finds out. He loves Jason he does- He always has because he’s his family. He’s his brother. Still the idea that the fetus in his body is a medical anomaly makes him sick. Jason is a happy kind of tense. _

_ Dick wants an abortion. He tells Jason and their fight is horrible. Jason doesn’t get the violent kind of mad that Dick expects from him however. Instead the beta begs him- pleads with him to carry to full term. If only just for him. Dick wouldn’t have to do anything after- just carry the baby for him. _

_ It was probably Jason’s only chance at ever having a child. Dick cracks under the pressure. _

_ The first doctor's appointment is horrible and subsequently they only see Leslie going forward. Nothing wrong. Not one thing, she’s big for her age but growing fine. A healthy beta girl. A beta- He has a beta growing inside of him. She’ll be sterile, with dull senses and unformed scent glands. Unable to form a mating bond, unable to scent other children, she’ll be broken. _

_ Jason is stroking his stomach gently. With a special look on his face. He’s talking about names. His voice a low rumble that could almost be an alphas. If Dick closes his eyes he can almost pretend like this is normal- that this was natural. That Jason was an Alpha and the two of them were together and happily building their family. _

_ Not a traumatized omega and a damaged beta. _

_ He feels a kick and love blossoms in his heart. She’s responding to Jason she always does. Like she can tell it’s her father inches away, cooing and calling to her in a gentle voice. Dick hums putting his hand over Jason’s. When he looks up Dick sees wonder in gorgeous blue green eyes. For a moment his breath is caught and he wonders if she’ll have his eyes. _

_ “ What about Mary?” _

_ Dick swallows his throat suddenly dry. _

_ “ Mary Catherine Todd?” _

_ Jason smiles and Dick feels like it’ll be alright. _

_ It gets a bit easier. The check ups, the baby shopping and the pitying looks from friends and family. Dick learns to stop caring what other people think. Because Jason doesn’t care about what anyone has to say. He paints the nursery himself. There’s a huge oak tree with birds of all shapes and sizes in its branches. It’s a humorous sight. Jason balancing precariously on a step ladder with a delicate painters pallet in hand. There’s a blue jay, cardinal, robin and red robin in the branches. As well as a wise old owl, a raven and a big bat hanging in a corner. It’s how he adds everyone in. Even Stephanie is there, he makes her a hummingbird. _

_ It’s almost too domestic. Putting together baby furniture, painting the room, getting the nursery ready. The bigger Dick gets the less he can move around. Jason takes it in stride though. Making sure he wants for nothing and massaging the things that ache. On day Jason is massaging a rather painful spot on his shoulders. When the beta leans in they make eye contact and kiss. _

_ It’s an amazing kiss. _

_ They haven’t done anything since ‘ the incident’. Instead, keeping a professional distance. Well as professional as two people having a baby could keep things. Still pregnancy had been driving Dick crazy with arousal and Jason was oh so good with his mouth. Good enough to make him tremble and beg for his manhood. The kiss sets a fire in both of them. Jason screwing him stupid on the couch. _

_ It’s so good Dick half expects it to all be a dream. It’s not however. When he wakes up he’s sleeping on Jason’s arm. The beta tenderly stroking him while quietly talking to Mary. It’s at this moment that Dick realizes he’s in too deep. _

_ They’re completely ready for the babies arrival at this point. The nursery is full to the brim. The baby shower that Kori and Donna throw is amazing. They play games, eat delicious desserts and he opens so many gifts he gets 4 paper cuts. All in all it’s a good day. _

_ Until he gets back to Jason’s and the place is ablaze. _

_ Black Mask. That’s what Jason tells him. That Roman caught wind of his location and lit the whole thing up like the fourth of July. Walking through the black smoky remains of their little corner makes Dick realize. This baby wasn’t safe with them. _

_ “ What if she had been here?” _

_ “ Someone would have been with her.” _

_ “ How do you know that?” _

_ “ Jesus Dick, I wouldn’t leave her alone and unprotected.” _

_ “ every hour of everyday Jason? Be reasonable- it’s not possible” _

_ They fight. It’s nasty and they scream at each other till their throats are raw. Jason doesn’t throw any punches but Dick thinks he wants too. He’s never seen him so mad. Not even when he first came back. It ends with him crying. Begging and pleading. He wants her so badly Dick thinks something in him breaks. He nearly gives into Jason again. Turns out maternal instincts outweigh any kind of love he feels for the beta. Their standing on the ashes of everything that may have been possible. The painting on the wall looks menacingly black now. _

_ “ What if this is my only chance?” _

_ Jason sounds small. He’s standing a good distance away. Shoulders slumping in defeat. _

_ “ It won’t be. “ _

_ “ But what if it is!” _

_ Despite it all, that's what it comes down to isn’t it. Dick feels bad because he can tell that Jason wants this. Wants her- with all that he is he wants Mary. His dream gone up in smoke and flame. _

_ “ I’m giving her up Jason. It’s her best chance and if you really love her you’ll see that too. “ _

_ When Dick goes to the manor Jason comes everyday to convince him to change his mind. When he refuses to see him the beta write letters, sheets and sheets. So many that Dick stops reading them. He doesn’t throw them away, he doesn’t have the heart. _

_ When his water breaks there’s still snow on the ground outside. Jason’s not there, Dick made sure he wouldn’t be. Everyone knew that if he held her or even saw her, he wouldn’t be able to give her up. To let her go. Dick doesn’t look at her either. He hides his face in Alfred chest when they take her away. That’s how Mary Catherine Todd comes into the world, a hearty 8 pounds 2 oz and healthy in every possible way. _

_ Jason doesn’t come around the manor and Red Hood isn’t seen on the streets. Dick takes his rehabilitation slow and tries his best not to constantly triangulate his baby girls location. She goes to a nice family in boring old Ohio. Their nice people with a dog and a cat. The house is a two bedroom and they don’t have any kids of their own. Their betas and happy to take his daughter, Dick is happy to give her to them. _

_ Though at night when the Gotham winter in unforgiving he shivers. Even under piles and piles of blankets he feels cold. Without her and without Jason. _

_ It doesn’t surprise anyone when he get postpartum depression. _

_ He’s in his room when he hears the door open. He smells Bruce before he feels him. The alpha slipping into the bed and under the covers wordlessly. Dick has to turn to make sure it’s him. It’s been so long since they’ve done anything remotely familial like this. The omega rolls over and buries himself in the scent of alpha. Breathing in so hard and deep he can hear it in his ears. That night Bruce doesn’t leave his nest. _

_ It starts a trend. All the members of the family taking turns to spend time with him. Soon he’s gently taken out into the manor. The breakfast nook, the library, the gardens- one day he even gets to the coffee shop. There’s a little girl in front of them though. With black hair and green eyes. Dick feels sick. _

_ He calls Jason, the phone is out of service. He laughs. Laughs so hard that he doesn’t even remember throwing the device and watching it smash to pieces on the wall. He sleeps after screaming at the ghost of a man who’s already gone. He finally decides to try the therapy. _

_ Turns out that mental health is something he should have taken a lot more seriously a long time ago. He doesn’t know how Bruce does it. Now that he’s here speaking to the kind lady with blonde hair and brown eyes he feels safe. She’s an omega. Her scent is kind and her office is almost a den. Everything is soft and smells wonderful, there’s a table of snacks, toys and gadgets to play with. It’s cozy. _

_ She doesn’t look down on him for giving away his pup. She doesn’t tell him that Jason was right to leave. She doesn’t make him feel less than himself. In fact for the first time in a long time Dick feels good. _

_ It’s 7 months after his daughter’s birth when Nightwing flies again. It feels incredible. He glides through the air like he has wings. Significantly lighter and just as flexible. He plays tag with Robin, stops a mugging and fools around in the snow with his siblings. _

_ All in all, it's a good night and Dick is glad they do it. _

_ It isn’t until another year passes that his life falls apart. _

_ They say it was an accident. That it could happen to anyone. Dick doesn’t believe it. _

_ Damian is the one who tells him. Perhaps they think it’ll soften the blow. Perhaps everyone thought the young 15 year old was the person closest to him. Dick isn’t sure what the reason is. All he knows is his baby girl is dead. The body is a match. Bruce checks the DNA over and over again and Dick feels like he loses a little more of himself each time. _

_ She’s gone. _

_ It was a car accident. Dick pulls the footage from a traffic cam and watches it over and over and over again. He ingrains every line and every curve into his mind. He sees it so many times when he closes his eyes it’s still there. The little Suzuki swift in a heap on the side of the road. The 18 wheeler that hits it barely has a scratch. It’s a vision from his worst nightmare. _

_ Now it’s just regular depression. _

_ Losing a child is a lot worse than giving one away Dick decides. It’s worse in a way where it’s hard to breath and everything is just awful and terrible. Like there was a piece of you and now it’s gone. Just like Jason left without a trace. Dick doesn’t get to sleep alone in his room anymore. He starts having thoughts. The kind that puts his therapist on high alert. She has to tell his family. _

_ He doesn’t blame her. At least when they’re all stuck together like this he knows they’re all safe. For the first time in a long while Dick misses Jason. He wonders what life would be like had he not given up so quickly. Maybe if he and Jason ran away from the beginning they would be happy now and their baby girl would still be alive. _

_ “ Master Dick it’s time to get up. “ _

_ It’s Alfred. The scent of mute peppermint tickling his nose like an old photo. It feels cool and refreshing on his senses. Soothing some of the rawness inside. When he peaks out of the mess of blankets he finds a still very asleep Tim. Dick slips out of the sheets. Bare feet tingling when they touch the cold floor. He pauses for just a moment taking in where he is. _

_ “ Thank Alf.” _

_ He says it soft but he’s sure Alfred hears him. The older man gently pats his shoulder. _

_ “ Of course master Dick. “ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason is hallucinating. At least that’s what he thinks is happening. Somewhere in the back of his mind he can smell his daughters distress. The panic rolling off of her in waves. She’s in the front seat- safe and behind him. Breathing in deeply, he can hear adrenaline pumping through his body. Muscles completely lax and ready to spring into action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never expected anyone else to like this story. I'm so happy and honored to have gotten so many wonderful comments on this work. I'm so very happy that people are enjoying this!
> 
> I really wanted to explore Beta's and try my hand at writing a narrative that focuses on themes I've never explored before. I hope you guys like this chapter as well. 
> 
> Hopefully it shines a little more light onto Why Dick felt the way he did in the first chapter and during his pregnancy. 
> 
> Thank you again for all your wonderful comments! It's definitely been the driving force for this new chapter!

Jason is hallucinating. At least that’s what he thinks is happening. Somewhere in the back of his mind he can smell his daughters distress. The panic rolling off of her in waves. She’s in the front seat- safe and behind him. Breathing in deeply, he can hear adrenaline pumping through his body. Muscles completely lax and ready to spring into action.

Dick Grayson. 

The omega’s expression screams desperation. Usual ocean blue eyes blown out and dark. His pupils dilating from the stress. Jason hasn’t seen Dick like this in years. The sheer amount of anxiety on his face makes him look older. Run down in a way that is forgiegn. 

Dick finally lets go of the door frame. Taking shaky steps backwards. There’s a tall figure behind him. When Jason can finally tear his gaze away he looks up. It’s Damian. 

Jason’s always thought about what he would say if he ever saw Dick again. If he ever ran in to anyone from his old life. Somehow now, he can't get the words out. The smell of fear and pup is making it hard for him. It’s suffocating. A tiny hand grasps at his jacket. The broken whimper that follows makes his spine straighten. 

He peeks back at his daughter. She’s shakily moving her hands. Rapidly signing ‘scared’. 

Once he’s sure Dick isn’t going to come forward. Jason closes the door and hits the latch. It isn’t anything that can keep a bat out but it feels safe enough for him to at least turn his attention to his pup. 

‘Safe’ He signals back. Proud when his hands don’t stutter, her beautiful blue eyes staring up at him. Quickly she reaches for her backpack. Where it had been thrown down in the earlier scramble. Little hands fish out her binder. Taking out the small laminated pictures, she places them in order on the velcro back. 

Car - Road - House. 

She wants to go home. Jason manages a tense smile. Petting soft curls that are now a mess. Her little head band must have fallen off at some point. He presses a kiss to the locks closing his eyes and inhaling. She stills in his hold and breathes in as well. Even though he knows she can only smell very little, if anything at all. 

Leaning back Jason signals slowly as he speaks. “ Soon. We’re going soon Princess. You’re safe. “

The little ‘hurry up’ she signs breaks his heart. 

He starts searching for the keys. Not daring to look to the side. Not wanting to face or confront Dick or Damian. He finds them quickly. Shoving them into the ignition. There’s a tap on the window. Jason closes his eyes tightly hoping that if he ignores it it’ll stop. The tapping becomes more insistent. 

Jason forces himself to turn. It’s Mrs. Anderson. In one arm she has young Andy, while Billy’s mop of sandy locks are visible beside her. With a breath of relief he winds down the window. The crisp air doing wonders for airing out the scent of distress. 

“ You and Princess alright?”

Jason nods. He’s pretty sure he’s about 2 seconds away from a full breakdown but his pup is safe. That’s all that matters. “ Yea Mrs. Anderson. Thanks for checking. “

The beta huffs, her expression protective. “ Of course dear. Get the little one home, We’ll talk later on. “

Jason nods. He reaches over to touch his daughter. She’s a little shaken up but not crying. Risking his sanity he peaks around to see if he can spot Dick. He doesn’t which is good. He does see Damian however. He’s standing in front of a car. Probably talking to Dick inside. The alpha looks up in time to catch his gaze. 

“ Alright Mrs. Anderson. I’m going to head out. We’ll talk soon. “

The answer must be satisfying. She nods telling her boys to say goodbye. Princess responding with her own hesitant movements. Once the beta is walking away from the car Jason sets to move to the next task at hand. Getting his daughter into the back seat.

She goes easily. Feeling much safer when in her booster. Jason settles her back pack in her lap. Making sure she has her folder, pictures and ipad. 

“ Ready to go Princess? “ He signs along with the words. She gives him a thumbs up making him smile. 

“ Alright let’s go. “

Getting back into his seat, he doesn’t spare a glance back at the grocery store. 

Princess starts playing music on her Ipad. The Bluetooth immediately connecting once she opens the app. Jason hums, able to see her signing along in the rear view mirror. He won’t go straight back home. He’s pretty sure Dick or Damian are going to follow. So when he reverses out he starts heading in the opposite direction.

He can still pick up faint whiffs of Dick’s scent in the car. He breathes deep, stealing every trace left and holding it in his lungs. It takes him a moment to catch himself doing it. Then an even longer time to get himself to stop. Even now, the omega smells like home. 

Memories rise to the surface like foam. Clouding his mind with frothy pain that still feels fresh. He’s always known that he would have to face his family someday. Afterall deciding to actively still communicate with Talia and the league meant he would cross paths with the bats sooner rather than later. 

A long sigh leaves his throat. Why couldn’t it be later?

The signs and landscape go by in a blur. They drive about ten minutes out into the country. The rolling hills and greenery blending together into a hazy loop. Jason’s eyes flicker to the rearview mirror. Princess is nervous and uncomfortable in her chair. Slowing down Jason winds down the window, hoping that the fresh air can soothe her raw senses.

He didn’t have the time to have his own internal crisis. After all, first and foremost is his daughter, at the moment she’s still a bit shaken up. Jason clicks his tongue, eyes scanning for a distraction. He drives for fifteen more minutes before he finally sees one. Big dairy cows grazing on the sea of green.

He pulls over, Princess’ eyes getting large as she looks over at them. She touches the window. Straining to get a better look. On a normal day he would take her out of the car. Not now though. Hopefully she would be happy with gazing from afar. He winds down the windows completely. 

Undoing his seat belt he turns to look back at her. “ See the cow’s baby girl?”

She nods enthusiastically. Signing the animal over and over again. When Jason gets out, she looks up at him with big blue eyes. He chuckles and opens the door so she can get a much better view. 

Princess stays in her seat like the good pup she is. Content to take pictures on her ipad to send to her auntie and show the kids at school. She’s pretty good with the camera now, after all it’s much easier for her to show what she’s done vs talking about it. 

While she’s busy with that Jason sweeps the car for bugs. Looking over every nook and cranny of the small vehicle. He manages to find 3, which he thinks is excessive but also can’t blame them for it. He pockets the devices and keeps them out of his daughter's sight. It's impressive. 

He thinks of sharp Al Gul green eyes. Almost expecting to see a rent a car park up beside them.

It doesn’t happen though so instead he closes up the doors and gets back into the car. It smells much better here now, like happy pup and clean seats. Jason’s shoulders sag, the tension he had been unconsciously holding suddenly easing. It didn’t fix all their problems but at least now he could breathe easy. 

“ Say bye bye to the cows Princess.”

With one last picture she waves bye to the animals. Blowing messy kisses as they start to pull off. He turns back onto the road, being careful of the passing truck that isn’t slowing down. Once he’s clear he starts driving. Fishing out the bugs and playing with them in his fingers. He drives at a decent pace which he knows isn’t fast enough for most people out here. 

A car that comes up behind him takes the bait and over takes, when he does so Jason throws the bugs, knowing at least one would stick. It wouldn’t fool the bats for long but at least it would buy them a little time. 

Jason decides to keep driving up. His mind trying to come up with a good plan of action. His fingers itch for his phone. To call Artemis and Bizzaro, maybe ask for them to come. He knows that will only cause more drama though. He hums to the radio, barely registering the familiar songs that Princess choses. When ‘ I’m hungry’ for the 3rd time in a row, his eyes flicker to the dash. It’s minutes after 2pm. He winces. 

He didn’t buy any groceries or anything for lunch.

His little girl is probably starving. He gives Princess a thumbs up, putting on his indicator to get ready to turn around. “ How about we eat out for lunch today?”

She rocks back and forth in her chair. Excitement all over her face. Just like him the pup loves food, especially impromptu meals on their days off. A small smile quirks in the corner of his lips. At least she’s feeling better.

If only he could say the same about himself.

Getting in the appropriate lane he starts making his way back toward Poppies. A little chip shop outside of town.It’s one of their favorite places to go. His daughter always eating most if not all of her food. It's also pretty neutral ground for a Confrontation- because whether he wants one or not he’s sure it’s going to happen. 

They have to drive past the cows again which Princess loves. The drive back much quicker than the aimless one out. He keeps below the speed limit and listens to the songs on the radio. Singing along whenever he remembers the lyrics. Something that makes the pup smile brightly. 

It’s familiar and easy to get to the restaurant. He’s making his way on autopilot while mentally practicing what he’s going to say. The rational part of him tries to focus on his own thoughts and actions. While the fear and anxiety feeds him worst case scenarios that make him white knuckle the wheel. When they reach Poppies in a mere 20 minutes he doesn’t feel any more ready than he did before. 

At least there’s good parking.

The second the pup sees the building she starts scrambling for the buckles of her seat. Clever hands getting her out and ready in no time at all. Jason chuckles, taking off his own seat belt and shutting off the car. He makes his way around to her door. When he opens it her bag is already around her shoulder and her arms are reaching out for him. 

With care he lifts her, putting the pup on his hip. It’s an easy thing he’s done time and time again. Stepping back and closing the door, he presses the lock button on the key ring. His daughter wiggles in his arms wanting to be put down on the ground to walk by herself. Reluctantly he relents. Holding his hand out for her to take instead. 

She holds onto three of his fingers, hand not quite big enough to fit in his. She skips to the door with haste. Jason having to lengthen his strides to suite her pace. Her eyes are firmly on the play area. The large slide in particular, he tries to slow her down with a gentle pull.

"No slide until after you eat. “ He signs carefully. Though at the sign slide, her eyes get so big Jason knows it's fruitless. 

Jason opens the door, his little girl practically springing in. She doesn’t wait for him instead, heading straight to the line. Little folder already out and proud. The lady who comes over grins. Giving Jason a little wave before giving all her attention to the pup.

“ Well if it isn’t my favorite girl. What will we be having today?”

Taking out her pictures Princess shows the lady fish and chips, a chocolate bar and a donut. 

The lady grins Jason peaking at the pictures. “ Nuh huh- what about the mushy peas princess? “

She makes a face. Her nose wrinkling in distaste. 

“ You know the rules. No peas no donuts. “

His pup fixes him with a look that makes both him and the server laugh. No five year old should be able to give such an expression of utter disgust. 

Reluctantly she takes out her picture of mushy peas. Making a face as she does so. Jason smiles at her. Petting her hair while ordering a classic cheese burger and chips. Princess kicks him in the shin when he only asks for one donut instead of two.

“ We can share Princess. Now no kicking- or else no slide. “

She pouts at him, clearly not liking his tone. It's definitely way past her lunch time. She always turns into a little grump when she gets hungry. 

He takes out his wallet and pays for the food. Lifting up Princess so she can put in the tip. When that’s done they both pick a booth near the window. The small little play area completely visible. It’ll serve as a good reminder for her to behave he hopes. 

There's crayons to color while waiting. Princess takes advantage scribbling on the blank menu. Jason watches her. Smiling at the way her little face screws up in concentration. 

He takes it all in. Her mess of black curls, her big blue eyes and long lashes, the faint splatter of freckles, and round high cheeks. She’s beautiful. He knows every parent loves their kids but this- Jason never thought this could be him. This little girl is his everything. Somehow he falls more and more in love with her anyday. He hasn’t felt this way since- well in a really long time.

She prompts him to join in, focusing intensely on finishing before their meal comes. Jason picks up a blue crayon, helping her in what he thinks is sky. He goes behind her following her lead. She never likes when he tries to take charge so instead he fills in gaps left by her over eager strokes. They don’t finish before the food arrives, but after promising they’ll finish later she’s ready to dig in. 

The pup attacks the chips like they'll disappear if she isn't fast enough. The food is hot he’s sure, so he snatches the still hot potato before she can cram it into her mouth. She whips her head at him. Jolting indignantly when he bites it. 

It isn't too hot but definitely too hot for her. He blows on the chip, cooling it down. When its fine he gives it back to her.

" Had to make sure it wasn't poisoned Princess. "

She looks skeptical but signs thanks. Munching slowly and being careful with the rest. His smart girl.

" it's good? " she nods. Moving on to a fish tender with the same amount of careful care.

They eat lunch like that for the most part. Princess stopping from time to time. Asking for little bits of Jason’s food while not finishing her own. When she’s had enough she’s eager to go outside. Wanting to play with the 2 kids in the play area. Polishing off the last of both of their meals Jason walks her out. 

The woman sitting outside is an omega. She looks tired, picking at cold chips while watching her kids. Jason pushes Princess along, encouraging her to go and play. 

As she runs off Jason takes a seat across from the mother to make small talk. 

She doesn’t bat an eyelash. In fact she seems to welcome the distraction with vigor. It still amazes Jason how different this place is from Gotham. He doesn’t think any omegas there would be half as friendly or polite to a beta let alone a beta child. 

Princess runs over giving Jason her little bag and folder. Seeming to realize the ball pit is not a good place to keep it. Once it’s in safe hands she rushes back to the two boys. He signs at her to be careful. She gives a thumbs up.

“ Makaton?”

Jason hums looking back to the lady. He nods with a smile. “ Yea. She’s doing pretty well with it so far. “

The lady nods in understanding. Watching the three play with keen eyes. 

“ Must be hard, What’s her condition if you don’t mind me asking?”

It isn’t something Jason talks about often. Living where he lives most people just accept it. Beta’s weren’t often known as the most healthy people after all. He lets his gaze follow Princess, where she’s playing with the other kids. Neither of the boys treat her any differently. They’re just having fun and that’s enough. 

“ vocal cord paralysis”.

He finally gets out. The woman probably hasn’t heard of it. Though the name itself is pretty self explanatory. She doesn’t look at him with pity, just nods. Jason is going to miss that about this place. Knowing that not everywhere will be as accepting of him and his child. 

“ Doctors are hopeful, she’s doing better every day. “

The genuine smile he gets from the lady makes the day a little less cold. “ She’s a strong little girl- I’m sure she’ll get better. “

The two of them talk about little things after that. The steak special at the groceries- Damn it Grayson, the new park opening up near the west side and of course sweet sweet small town politics. 

It isn’t until he catches sight of dark hair in his peripheral that he pauses.

Times up.

He looks over to where the pups are having fun playing. Each one taking turns and going down the slide. Jason jogs over to the bottom. Just in time to catch Princess. Her face twists in mute laughter. Jason smiles at her.

The two little boys seem to think it’s a fun game. Expecting the same treatment. 

That’s how Jason becomes a human jungle gym for happy children. Their bubbly giggles and Princess’ silent smiles fill his heart. He loves this. Years ago he never thought such simple things could bring him joy. Now though he wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

The omega asks Jason to watch her kids while she goes to the restroom. Something he does gladly. She’s not even gone a minute when Damian slips in through the door.

“ Ahki. “

Damian is older than he remembers. Much much older. He’s at least 18 Jason is sure. He’s grown into his height. The two of them nearly the same size. While Jason is broad, Damian is built a little leaner. Definitely more from Talia’s side than Bruce’s. 

It makes Jason proud. It makes him wish he had been around to watch him grow up.

That he didn’t have to leave.

“ Hey Dames. “

They bask in solemn silence. Doing and saying nothing. The pups keep playing, not giving Damian the slightest bit of attention. It’s a quiet mercy. Jason is still waiting for Dick to show up. Full of rage and false accusations. Mean words tearing him apart like they did years ago. 

“ Dick’s not here. “ 

Jason tenses. Wishing that he could keep his expression a little more even. He doesn’t really believe Damian but he decides to go with it for now. He doesn’t look at his brother. Instead focuses on the three pups. They’re playing in the ball pit. The boys aren’t being too rough which makes Jason wonder if they have a little sister at home. 

“ You look well- old but well. “

Damian’s expression softens just enough for Jason to notice. 

He swallows down the smile. He couldn’t afford to get sentimental now.

“ You too. All grown up. “

Under other circumstances Jason would brag about the three inches he’s taller. Lording it over his brother until he fought him in his frustration. Not now though. Not 5 years later when seeing him made every crack in his heart bleed. 

The omega comes back and Jason smiles at her. She’s nice and doesn’t pick up the tense mood between them. “ Thanks Peter- we have to get going but let’s set up that play date soon!”

It’s easy to take her hand and ignore Damian. For a moment pretending like everything is ok. Princess is reluctant to say goodbye to her new friends. She calms down at the promise of a cookie from inside though. 

The alpha watches the entire exchange without saying a word. 

“ Do you want anything?”

The younger brother takes a while to answer. His face giving away nothing. He doesn’t really seem hostile. Though Jason knows from experience that appearances can be misleading. What he wouldn’t give to go back in time to this morning. When he has been sleepy and warm in bed. His sweet princess in his arms. Both of them enjoying the peaceful saturday. 

“ I’m fine thank you. “

Jason nods stiffly. He turns walking back inside with Princess. He opens the door letting her go in first. Damian follows which makes him tense but he tries to hide it. The pup rushes over to the counter, the same server from earlier coming over. Jason still has her folder so instead she points to the cookies and signs politely. The lady grins at her. 

“ What did dad say?”

The pup pouts at that. Clearly not liking that the server doesn’t trust her. She looks back with exasperation. The expression gets a snort out of Damian. Jason’s smile slips.

“ She can have one- just one. “

He goes over to pay but Damian does it first. He also tips the lady which makes her flush. Jason rolls his eyes but Princess is ecstatic. Damian hands her the cookie with care. She gives him a big smile. Signing thank you and flouncing over to one of the tables to eat it. After all Princesses don’t make messes. A benefit of her nickname that keeps her neat and tidy.

“ Explain. “

The words cut through Jason. It shouldn’t be startling but it is. He’s been thinking of how to explain himself. Since running into the two earlier and even long before that. He doesn’t know where to start. So instead he just shrugs. He heads over to where his pup is sitting. He sits beside her while Damian slides in across from them.

“ It’s pretty self explanatory. “ He offers.

It’s a pitiful excuse. He wouldn’t accept it himself. Damian frowns. Clearly it wasn’t enough. Jason doubts anything would be enough. After all in their family nothing less than a step by step walkthrough would suffice. The beta doesn’t think he’s ready for that. Not that Damian would wait for him to be ready.

Princess breaks off a piece of the cookie offering it to Jason. The beta smiles down at her, his heart fluttering in his chest. He didn’t want to give this up. The amount of options and routes available to him are quickly shrinking to nothing. 

He doesn’t want to uproot her if he can help it. Her doctors are here, her friends and teachers. She also fits in here. The area is pretty good about equality. Cast never came into play during any aspect of their lives. If he can Jason wants Princess to grow up her entire life here.

Jason doesn’t say anything and Damian doesn’t follow up. He takes the piece of cookie. Petting baby soft curls as he does so. She leans into his chest finally paying attention to Damian. He isn’t sure what happens but it makes Damian pause. 

“ Leave your window open tonight. “

With that parting dialogue he stands. Nodding to Princess with an awkwardness that would usually be laughable. Jason watches him leave, blood rushing in his ears. This isn’t over, not by a long shot. Still- he isn’t in cuffs, Dick is nowhere to be seen and neither is Bruce.

Maybe Damian would understand If he did explain things to him. Damian’s morality had never been black and white like the rest of the bats. He’s flexible and looks at the facts. Something that could potentially work in Jason’s favor now.

Something had to work, because he knew one thing for sure. 

Running isn’t an option.

\----

  
  


_ Jason Todd is born a beta. Something that isn’t uncommon in the Narrows- in fact it’s the norm. No one treats him differently for it either. After all down here they’re all the same. Didn’t matter if you were alpha, beta or omega, the poor were all equal in Gotham's eyes.  _

_ Trash. _

_ It isn’t until Bruce takes him in does he realize what his designation really means. Bruce himself doesn't say anything. They play wrestle, scent each other and do all kinds of pack behavior like normal. Jason likes it a lot. _

_ It's other people who are weird. _

_ Especially at the Galas.  _

_ No one will dance with him he quickly learns. His advances are met with looks full of hate and malice. It’s not really too surprising. After all, he's still street trash it didn’t matter if he’s a Wayne now or not. At least that’s what he thinks it is. It isn’t until he asks pretty Polly Poziack to dance does he hear it.  _

_ “ Get loss Beta. “ _

_ It makes him frown. He isn’t quite sure what it’s suppose to mean. Barbara dances with him instead and it’s fun. At least like this Jason’s lessons don’t go to waste. He get 2 whole dances until someone cuts in and Babs is swept away. Bruce pats him on the shoulder and gives him a private smile.  _

_ He forgets about it.  _

_ The next time it happens he’s at school. He’s doing really well. At least he thinks he is. There’s a test coming up and he’s going to pass and get all A’s. He wants to surprise Bruce before he comes back from Hong Kong. Alfred helps him study.  _

_ He fails anyway.  _

_ He cries in his room and shows the test to Alfred. He isn’t sure how he did so badly. He didn’t slack off a day. Even when Dick told him he could take a break to come out and be Robin. To him the grades were more important.  _

_ He gets 2/100. The only points he gets is for signing his name. When he speaks to the teacher he hears it again. _

_ "Stupid beta." _

_ Bruce ends up having a meeting with the school board about it. _

_ He has to go to another school after that.  _

_ He doesn't hear it again for a while. He forgets about it for the most part. Jason doesn’t go to Gala’s anymore and Bruce doesn’t push him. Instead they go out and fight crime. Getting ice cream on the way back home. They even bring some back for Alfred. Bruce gets in trouble for giving Jason sugar before bed- but next time they go out he does it again anyway. Jason likes doing that. The best part is when he can't sleep so he stays in Bruce's room and the alpha reads to him. _

_ The third time it happens it's in front of everyone and loud. He asks an omega in his class to the school dance. She has sandy blonde hair and green eyes. Jason thinks she's the prettiest omega in the world. He flies a balloon over to her. There's a poem on the string. _

_ She laughs at him in front of everyone. Popping the balloon and saying the word he hates more than anything. _

_ "Beta." _

_ He skips the rest of school. _

_ Shockingly it's Dick who comes to him and not Bruce. Jason's been in his room all afternoon, skipping dinner and not going out for patrol. The omega slips into his blankets and gives him a big hug. It feels good but somehow makes Jason cry harder. _

_ He can't help blabbing the whole thing out to Dick. The grimace on his brother's face makes him think he can sympathize with him. Maybe people call Dick the same word too. After all their both street trash. The omega pets his hair softly. Gently holding him in a way that makes him. feel special.  _

_ " But Jay- what did you expect? " _

_ It hurts so badly Jason decides to stop talking to Dick. He doesn't ask out any girls either. He stays at home and reads books. He still goes out as Robin. Bruce doesn't call him that word so it's fun. Even if the world didn't think he was good enough Bruce did and that was enough. _

_ " Jaylad come here we need to talk. " _

_ Jason bites his cheek. He knows that tone. It means he's done something wrong. He follows the alpha up to his study. Sitting in one of the plush seats in front of The big Desk. Bruce sits across from him.  _

_ " Dick says you're not talking to him. Want to tell me why that is? "  _

_ He really doesn't. He scrunches his nose, thinking of the words to say. Bruce is patient not rushing him. It helps a little. He lets his eyes fall to the floor. It makes it a bit easier.  _

_ " it's his own fault. He said something mean to me." _

_ Bruce perks up at that. Expression growing a little stormy. Good- let Dick get in trouble. _

_ " What did he say? " _

_ Jason swallows. Sitting up a little straighter. He could tell Bruce. He’s never mean to him. He’s never told Jason he couldn't do anything. He’s always told Jason he could change the world.  _

_ " I asked out this girl at school- Sara Gritch. I flew a balloon with a poem into her class to surprise her. You know because the dance was coming up." _

_ Jason watches Bruce's expression. Its starts twisting like Dicks did. It's almost like deja vu.  _

_ " She told me no in front of everyone and called me a beta. Everyone laughed at me. Then she popped the balloon. " _

_ He kind of trails off. The memories surface and make tears of frustration swim in his eyes. _

_ " I was really upset so I told Dick and he was like 'what did you expect?" Like I Shoulda known she was gonna embarrass me. Like I wasn't good enough for her or something- It made me mad. " _

_ Bruce's lips are a thinline now. Almost like he's eaten a really sour lemon. He's never seen him like this before so he doesn't say anything. Instead waiting for Bruce to. _

_ " I'm sorry she did that to you Jason. That wasn't nice. "  _

_ When Bruce says that it makes Jason perkup. At least dad understood. He smiles and Bruce’s frown deepens slightly.  _

_ " It might be my fault as well… I'm sorry. " _

_ That makes Jason double take. Why would it be Bruce's fault? Surely Bruce didn't tell her to do that? He's frowning now too. Both sitting in a hard atmosphere. _

_ " Jason- Do you know what a beta is? " _

_ Jason flinches. Its that word. The one he doesn't like. Bruce lets out a soothing rumble helping him relax.  _

_ " it's a derogatory?" _

_ Bruce winces. _

_ " well- no but some people use it that way. Beta's are people who aren't Alpha or Omega. " _

_ Jason's eyebrows wrinkle. " that's it?"  _

_ When the alpha nods he relaxes a bit. " so what does that matter? " _

_ Bruce interlaces his fingers. Taking a moment to speak. For a second Jason thinks he doesn’t know what to say. Which doesn’t make sense because he always knows what to say. After what feels like minutes he finally speaks.  _

_ “ Some people think it matters because they aren’t the same. They can’t smell things that alphas and omegas can and don’t form bonds the same way… Beta’s are a little different and sometimes different can be scary. It’s especially hard in relationships because Beta’s can’t have children. “ _

_ The words strike Jason like lightning. He’s never heard much about secondary genders before. Bruce always said it didn’t matter much. He and Alfred were alphas and Dick an omega. It didn’t affect their family really. Dick just went into heat sometimes and Bruce into ruts. That’s it. Nothing more nothing less.  _

_ Then again if heats were when omegas got pregnant and ruts where when alphas are most fertiles what did that mean for him? The truth crawls up his throat, making it scratchy and dry. _

_ “ So I’m broken?” _

_ The sound Bruce makes scares Jason. He jumps up, feeling fear race down his spine.  _

_ “ No- Jaylad no you’re not broken- Special but never broken. Just because some people don’t understand you doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. “ _

_ The words soothe the growing ache in Jason’s chest. Even though he’s a little too old for it he shuffles off the chair to sit into Bruce’s lap. It feels safe. Like this his dad can wrap completely around him and chase away mean words. _

_ “ you mean it?” _

_ Bruce smiles.  _

_ “ I mean it. I love you Jaylad. Alpha, Beta or Omega, you're my son.“ _

_ The words make his heart flutter just a bit.  _

_ " Alright. " _

_ Jason believes Bruce and starts talking to Dick again. He still thinks the omega is mean but the apology makes it easier to let it go. He talks to Alfred a little more about what a beta is. It doesn’t sound so bad when the older man explains it.  _

_ He doesn’t have to worry about getting anyone pregnant. Or his instincts going out of control during a mission. He also doesn’t need to take suppressants and scent blockers which would be kinda annoying. Other than that it’s mostly positives, a much more convenient way to live.  _

_ Well from his standpoint.  _

_ “ Batman do you really think this is the place for a beta? “ _

_ It’s Green Arrow who says it. They’re at the watchtower, it’s Jason’s very first time. He gets to meet wonder woman. Who’s just as cool in person. All the members are there, but he doesn’t talk to anyone really. He feels a little shy but he isn’t sure why.  _

_ Bruce hides him behind his body. It feels safe, hiding him from different pairs of eyes.  _

_ “ Caste has nothing to do with this. “ _

_ The man wrinkles his nose and Jason wishes he could punch him in the face. Green Arrow obviously wants to follow up but doesn’t. Superman gives him a look.  _

_ Later that night Bruce takes him out to fight crime. Then they get ice cream and Jason gets hot fudge on his.  _

_ Turns out sexism isn’t something that goes away even if you ignore it. It’s something that quietly shows itself to you in places you least expect it. Family, Friends, strangers- people who think they meanwell but really don’t. It’s awful. Jason tells Bruce as much but he doesn’t have a solution for it really.  _

_ He does send him off to meet the teen titans for a break however. Something that he looks forward to. Dick isn’t really keen on the idea but he let’s Jason come anyway. He doesn’t sleep that night instead eagerly waiting until they go.  _

_ Turns out he shouldn’t have been so eager.  _

_ The Titans are jerks. No actually their straight up assholes. They don’t like him. They’re clear about that- clear enough that Jason really doesn’t need them to clarify the reason. After all he’s technically Dick’s replacement, that would be enough of a reason. He’s also a stranger so he understands- he truly really does.  _

_ Maybe that’s why hearing it makes it so much worse.  _

_ “ Beta.” _

_ It hurts. It hurts and Dick doesn’t say anything. Just stands there awkwardly laughing it off. He’s eyeing Jason wearily like he’s afraid of him attacking the group. He should he really should. The usual rage he can summon in minutes doesn’t come this time though. He can barely clench his fist let alone raise them.  _

_ He joins in on the laughter. It’s loud and brash. Grating on everyone's ears. He laughs until the ugliness in his chest feels a little lighter. Then he smiles.  _

_ “ Yea- pathetic isn’t it? “ _

_ Turns out if you laugh at yourself first you can beat others to the punch. When Jason gets home he lies to Bruce and Alfred and tells them what a great time he’s had. He also thanks Dick for taking him. Though when he offers to take him again Jason politely refuses because he’s behind on his school work.  _

_ Which is close to the truth because passing is taking everything he has. He fights tooth and nail for every grade. He can’t very well tell Bruce that these teachers were worse than the last can he? He also works harder at his patience. Getting into fights would just be troublesome and it’s the last thing he wants.  _

_ It’s hard. Every moment of every day is hard. He doesn’t realize how tightly he’s wound until the Felipe Garzonas case.  _

_ “ They’re betas, they don’t matter. “ _

_ Jason sees red. It doesn’t fade from his vision even when he’s staring down at the bottom of the building where the man is bleeding and broken. Somehow it feels like a tiny bit of justice. When Batman’s shadow descends on him he just shrugs.  _

_ “ Guess I spooked him. “ _

_ They don’t get ice cream that night.  _

_ Looking back at everything, if Jason has one regret it’s not talking to Bruce more. He watches ominous red numbers tick down. Bringing him closer and closer to the inevitable end. Here he doesn’t wish for his dad to save him anymore. He’s already been let down by one parent today.  _

_ He supposes he should be happy he’s a beta.  _

_ If he hadn’t been one his mother would have never given him up and he would have never met Bruce. He would have never become Robin. Never knew what it was like to be a hero. Most of all he would have never been a part of the Wayne pack.  _

_ When he looks over to his mother's form he starts to crawl closer.The omega is sobbing likely realizing what’s about to happen to both of them. Jason grunts, body aching from the beating he took hours before. She doesn’t look at him and he doesn’t need her too. Like this he can be useful in at least one way.  _

_ Like this he could die a hero and maybe his Dad would know that means thank you.  _

_ He knows he’s going to die here. As the numbers turn to single digits he finally lets his eyes drift shut.  _

_ 6. _

_ Get lost beta. _

_ 5. _

_ Stupid Beta. _

_ 4. _

_ Batman do you really think this is the place for a beta? _

_ 3. _

_ They're beta's, they don't matter. _

2.

_ No one’s coming to save a beta- kid.  _

_ 1. _

_ l love you Jaylad.  _

_ “ I love you too Dad. “ _

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to Elwon for helping! 
> 
> I really appreciate all the wonderful comments and feedback I've been getting on my writing. It really helps me push to become a better writer and get more finished. Hopefully this is an enjoyable read. 
> 
> I just really wanted to write an Kid fic ( Though I do have 3 others in the making- ) 
> 
> Look forward to an update for Royally Fucked soon!


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